Explain your choices or ignore the haters?

5 thoughts on “Explain your choices or ignore the haters?”

  1. To be honest, as a home school hater myself, I can see your frustration. However, from the other side of the fence, homeschooling is synonymous with religious nut-cases, maladjusted children and evangelical parents who selectively pick statistics to suit their argument, so to have to understand that people automatically put you into that category. Here is one question though…. how will you adequately prepare you children for higher order thinking in the natural sciences (complex maths, physics, chemistry) as well as skill specific or knowledge intensive subjects as they get older? How do you get your resources?

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    1. “have to understand that people automatically put you into that category.”

      I disagree. I do not have to understand that people are choosing to be judgmental based on something that may be true of someone else when they know nothing about me. I am an individual, as are my children, and we have the right to not be judged based on someone else’s actions, or someone else’s misconceptions.

      As for your question about how I will adequately prepare my children, I say that is a perfect example of one of the questions I refer to. Of course, being online, I cannot know your intended tone, but the way it comes across through this medium is: the phrasing of your question makes it quite clear that you automatically assume that I am incapable of educating my children properly. You know nothing of my education, or of my children’s desires to learn, so why would you make that assumption? Additionally, by saying “as they get older,” you imply that I’m not smart enough to teach them what I’ve already learned in school. Are you aware of how insulting that seems? It’s that kind of insult, whether intentional or not, that puts many homeschoolers on edge when we’re asked these questions and force us to sometimes have to decide whether or not to answer people’s questions.

      To answer your actual question, I will prepare them the same way I have always prepared them. I find resources, all well researched and confirmed to be accurate. But more importantly, I have taught my children to seek out answers for themselves, as well, and to look critically at their sources and determine their accuracy by finding the same answer across multiple books, websites, videos, and audio sources. They actually learn more now than they did in public school because they put in more effort and they have more desire to learn because they’re able to dive as deeply into their interest in a topic as they want, and at their pace, rather than the pace of a classroom full of students at varying levels and being taught what someone else has decided they should learn.

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  2. Agree on all points that you’ve made. I quit trying to convince the haters (because true haters don’t care about homeschooling, they only want to belittle other people’s choices). I am open to discussion if a person is genuinely curious. Homeschooling is perfectly legal. The only opinions that truly matter are those of me, my husband and our children. Nobody else has responsibility for my children, so nobody else has a say. If it is a distant family member (all immediate family is now, at last, on the same page) who is against it, saying “It’s what we find best for our family” repeatedly works sooner or later. The trick is not to get angry when I repeat it for the umpteenth time. The only “concerned” adult in the position of power in our lives at the moment is my son’s dojo sensei, but I think I am slowly convincing him that it’s ok. We are lucky there are many homeschoolers in the area, so random people on the streets aren’t phased by school-aged children out and about. If I am cornered, with everyone the rule of thumb is “smile and wave” (c), and funny thing is –when I finally felt absolutely confident in our choice to homeschool (and it did not come right away, I must say), the amount of judgmental people around us decreased too. But maybe it’s also the area we live in.
    No more online fights about homeschooling, those I am definitely done with. Someone who doesn’t know me, and especially those that only came to hate won’t believe me no matter what I say, so why waste time.

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    1. I agree with everything you just wrote. There is no point trying to convince those who clearly don’t want to be convinced and only want to provoke. I’ve found lately that the ones who really disagree with our decision seem to have either fallen out of our lives completely (by their own choice), or have finally figured out that their opinion is not welcomed and now keep it to themselves. My feeling is that if they have a different opinion, that’s fine, but it’s like that joke about religion and penises, but with homeschooling. You don’t need to wave your penis or your negative homeschooling opinion in my face, since I haven’t asked to see either of them. 🙂

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      1. You made me laugh with penis analogy 😀 Indeed, who has time for unfounded criticism, as Flights of the Conchords put it “Be more constructive with your feedback..please”. And “no, thank you” to broad generalizations too. After all, I don’t know a single homeschooling parent that would come after a kid from traditional school and start drilling them on their knowledge to “make sure they learn” or ask child’s parents for teachers’ resumes, god forbid they don’t qualify. There is no reason homeschooling parents and kids should go through this.
        And, yes, we had to let go of some friendships, we were too weird for some folks, and that’s ok. It’s impossible to hold on to all relationships in this life, and it’s more fun to hang out with like-minded folk anyway.

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